Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1

Harry Potter is back for the last time, the first time. I only read the first 2 books of Harry Potter, and didn't care for it. Just like I did not care about the first two movies, mostly cause they sucked and I hate British folk under 16 years of age. I enjoyed the "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" a lot and so i decided that this franchise is pretty damn good. This first part of this last one, as a movie was alright, it was really slow. I enjoyed it, there was all that drama people love, some action, and a side boob. Who wouldn't wanna get a glimpse of Emma Watson's side boob?
I hear this movie follows the book so well, it's unbelievable. So that's always good. I'm always down for great adaptations of originals, but I was only slightly bored through this movie. The trailers gave me chills when I first saw it, but everything I loved from trailer is in Part 2, and that made me sad. All in all, it was a grade A film, so go see it.

How to Train Your Dragon

This movie is about a viking boy named Hiccup, voiced by Jay Baruchel, who's village is constantly raided by dragons. While his fatehr, Voice by Gerard Butler, is away fighting the dragon menace, Hiccup is going through training to become a dragon killer, but he ends up befriending one and realized that they might not really know the dragons at all.



Easily the best animated move this year. And i never thought i'd say that about a dreamworks picture over a pixar movie, but its true. I really really liked it, and once it came out on video i had to own it. I recommend that everyone should see it, regardless of age its fun for the whole family. My only qualm with it is that although his dry humor is amusing, as a voice actor Jay Baruchel's skill fall short. But the movie makes up him with great work by Gerard Butler and Craig Ferguson. but please people, if you haven't already seen it go see it.

Sex And The City 2

Didn't see it, don't care, you shouldn't either.. moving on

Fallout 3... The Movie!

Its like they took the graphics from Fallout 3 and used it to make the Book Of Eli, which looks exactly like one of my favorite video games. this film is about a guy named Eli (Denzel Washington) who is trying to get to the east coast for reasons i cannot say for hopes of spoiling the ending, and his adventures escaping a ruthless group of scavangers who's leader is played by the great Gary Oldman.


I'm always down for a good apocalypse movie, and this is by far one of the better ones this year. I really liked it and the implementation of the power religion over people, and it has a twist. i always love a good twist. Check it out peeps, its worth watching

Clash Of The Titans.... sigh

FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!! so boring, so dumb.. don't even bother, the older one is better and i didn't even think that was possible

Piranha 3D

Boobs, blood, and comedy... Need is say more. This movie isn't really worth a real review, its one of those monster movies that is made to be so cheesy its funny. This laugh riot includes such wonderful lines as "They took my penis!" and other lines i cant remember. But if any other movie deserves to be in 3D it was this movie, it shows 3D for what it really is, a cheesy gimmick and not to be taken seriously. All in all i'd say its worth watching when you're in the mood for a cheesy horror film and want a good laugh.

The crazies

This movie was much better than I expected it to be. A kind of zombie/epidemic movie in which a government created bio-weapon virus is accidentally released into a rural American area.



the town sheiff, played by Timothy Olyphant, tries to escape the quarentine zone while dodging the murderous infected and trigger happy U.S. soldiers. The premis is awesome, I loved how the infected turned into murderous psychopaths instead of typical mindless zombies, the execution although wasn't as good as it could have been. The supporting actors, mainly Joe Anderson and Danielle Panabaker, wasn't very good but that is to be expected. I really loved all the creative ways the infected killed people like the guy burning his house down with his family still inside, the guy stabbing strapped downvictims with a pitchfork, or doctors stitching victims eyes and mouth shut, but I did find a few things a little too farfetched.

All in all though, if you like infection type movie I hoghly recommend it, if you have a weak stomach, you might want to avoid it.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

My initial reaction to this movie was "what the fuck did i just see" but the more i thought about it the more i liked it. And now upon further examination i think its one of the best movies i've seen this year. Definitely it is a revolutionary new way of film making, and the old school video game feel was amazing but it actually made me like Michael Cera again... Who knew! This is one of those movies i recommend everybody owning on video cuz it is quite awesome..... well except for his stupid rock n roll battle with the two asian dudes (that part is still dumb to me) but everything else is phenomenal. Its funny, visually stunning, and well written, go get it doods.

Get HIm To the Greek

For those of you who don't know, Get Him to the Greek is about a record pion(played by Jonah Hill) trying to get a washed up rock n roll super star(played by Russell Brand) to his big comeback show, and silliness ensues. I actually didn't mind this movie, it was a little confusing trying to figure out if both characters were the same characters from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" (which i'm still not sure about) or if only one of them was. I think a lot of the "drugs, sex, and rock n roll" jokes were kinda hit and miss but i found myself laughing a lot more than i normally would. And this movie is probably the only time in the history of anything that i enjoyed something P. Diddy has done, he was hilarious in this show. I think this is a good red box movie, its probably not worth more than a dollar, but worth checking out

Iron Man 2

I figured i would write this before TxBag got his nasties on it cuz i know how much he hated the first Iron Man (which i thought was awesome) but in all fairness his criticism of the cheesiness of the line "Lets take this to the sky!" was actually said in the second one as well and was still just as cheesy. That being said i still loved this movie. It was almost as good as the first one which is pretty hard for sequels to do.


Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke do incredibly well playing the villains, Don Cheadle is a much better Rhodie than Terrance Howard and Scarlett Johansson kicking ass in a skin tight black spy outfit, i'm sold. My only complaint is that in some parts it runs a little long, and the final battle sequence is a little too short, but other than that i thought it was a fantastic flick.. And that part where Scarlett Johansson and Gweneth Paltrow walk up the stairs in high heels and skirts is worth watching over and over, believe me cuz i've done it.

The MOFUCKIN' A- Team

Probably one of the most fun i've had in a movie in a long time. The A-team, starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Rampage Jackson, and Shalto Copley, lives up to the precedent set by the eighties television series by delivering big explosions, amazing action scenes, and great character chemistry. it was the perfect blend of cheese, action, and comedy. I'd highly recommend this movie to anyone who was a fan of the old tv show, love a good fun action flick, or just enjoy seeing good actors enjoying their roles... actually i think everyone should go see it.. See it now!

Goddamn M Night Shamamalamalam

Hey kids, guess what heap a crap our favorite director put out... The Last Airbender!!!

Now I love the tv show, but I wanted to strangle a small child during this movie. "How can a director screw up a great storyline?" you ask, by letting that self righteous Hitchcock wannabe write the script. Awkward pronunciations, terrible acting, forced onscreen chemestry, lame endings, and non threatening villains are the trademark of this crapfest. I understand wanting to throw a bone to your fellow baliwood stars but if your gonna make all the bad guys Indian, don't use non threatening comedic actors like Aasif Mandvi and Cliff Curtis. oh and worst leading actors I've ever seen, stupid kids.

Save yourself a headache and just watch the anime

Shutter Island

shutter island, directed by Martin Scorsese, is about a US Marshall (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) who investigates a mysterious disappearance at an institution for the criminally insane. While investigating he uncovers a major conspiracy involving all of the institutions, all the while being haunted by his own personal demons.

This movie kicks all sorts of ass! First of all it's directed by the great Scorsese, who can't go wrong in my book. Leo, really shows his acting chops, and it's just an awesome story. it's got twists and turns and a delicious "what the hell!" type of endind that I love so much. The supporting acting is great, especially the performances by Mark Ruffalo and Ben Kingsley. It is just a damn good movie, my only complaint is that the score is kinda annoying. But I'd still recommend if you haven't seen it to go pick it up and get ready to get your mind blown

Twilight Saga

Fuck you Stephanie Meyer, Bobby Pattinson, and Kristen No-emotion for proving that you don't need good story, good acting, or living semen to make a successful vampire movie you stupid twatcicles........ team Buffy mother fuckers!!

Many apologies

Sorry we've been out of comission for a while now but stay tuned of a bunch of new shit including reviews of the Last Airbender, Tha A-Team, Iron Man 2, Inception, Get Him to The Greek, and others that I can't think of right now

Alice In Wonderland

 Well, I'm not sure where to start. Tim Burton could have done a better job, but I guess he had to be less of a Wack Job for Disney's main audience, the kids. However, there was this one part where the tough mouse guy poked out the Blabbersnatche's (or whatever's) eye which may fuck with a child's mind, but I don't know, I enjoyed gore and shit like that when I was little.
There was lots of familiar voices, but probably were not the best choice for the character. Such as the caterpillar. Who was spoken by Professor Snape from Harry Potter. He sounded the exact same just in case you were wondering how he would sound in wonderland. Nothing changed.

   So I'm sure everyone built this movie up in their minds to be something "Dark" and "Mind Blowing". I did for a second, then I saw the trailer and lost all hope. Johnny Depp did a good job I guess, It wasn't anything amazing. I'm not a huge fan of the British, so of course I did not like whoever played Alice. Stupid British bitch. Oh and her fiance was disgusting. He was a GINGER-BRIT, I almost threw up. It was better than Where the Wild Things Are though, so that's a plus. It could have been better I'm sure if Disney let Tim Burton do as many drugs as he wanted.
Overall, I did not like it, but I was alright. There is a slight possibility of me watching it again, only if it's free. There was way too much C.G.I. Almost all the props were computer generated, one of the actors even had to have him be animated to ride his horse away, the horse was not animated the whole time.So, either get better, Tim Burton, or FUCK OFF!

Brick

This was probably one of the coolest movies i ever accidentally stumbled on. Its all about this kid who's ex girlfriend, and love of his life, gets murdered and he tries to find her killer by infiltrating the local drug scene. The coolest thing about this movie is that it was put together to be like an old Dick Tracey type murder mystery, its got a lot a strange lingo that you really gotta think about when you hear it and when people talk i keep expecting them to say "Nyah See" like chief Wiggum on the Simpsons. The acting is great, the story is solid, and its got some of those twists i love so much. This show is excellent and i highly recommend it to anyone and everyone

Memento! yeah that's right

Ok, every time i watch this movie it gets better and better. This picture made its start at the Sundance Film Festival and stars Guy Pearce and Joe Pantoliano. Basically, without giving anything away its the story of a man with no short term memory trying to find his wife's killer. This movie keeps you going "what the fuck" every like five minutes, in a good way. It keeps you guessing, has entertaining narration the likes of which are nearly Tarantino worthy, and is just twist after tantalizing twist. This is one of those movies i highly recommend to anyone who's in the mood for an intense thriller, probably when you can pay attention cuz its a film where the details do matter.

Indiana Jones 4

WILL NEVER EXIST!

King Arthur, a very underated movie

I'm surprised that not many people have seen this film. It was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, the score was written by the great Hans Zimmer, its cast includes Kiera Knightly and Cliver Owens, and yet NO ONE has even seen it. First of all Kiera Knightly is sexy as hell (she has probably some of the most sensual facial expressions i've ever seen), secondly its very action packed, thirdly the score is great, and lastly the acting is just great. Action, adventure, romance, betrayal, loyalty, martyrdom, and one guy who's got this wicked pair or brass knuckles with with dagger on them. Plus i love a good period piece. So go watch it fuckers! Especially you Tyson

LEGION

So I just saw Legion with the boys and i was very very disappointed. I should know better, its the job of commercials to make the movies seem good, but this movie seemed SO epic and i got Way too excited. But of course it was just cheesy dialogue, even cheesier special effects and that hick actor from Tokyo Drift that i have never liked and still don't. The story line was like Family Guy's "Passion of the Christ 2" in the manner that they had a new Jesus Christ story with a lot of guns. Family Guy made a joke out of the idea cuz it was so ridiculous but i guess someone thought it sounded good... just like meet your new mommy got the idea from the Chappel Show trading spouses skit. All in all i'd recommend not going to see it unless you want a good laugh at a shitty movie...



Tyson
I believe that Legion should have been made by the Legion of Doom. They know what destruction is, not like the Angel Michael. He was carrying a damn m16 with a grenade launcher on the bottom, and guess what, the fuckin bitch ass pussy angel never used it. He could have killed so many possessed people with it, and also when he gets in real deep shit and a grenade launcher is the best possible way out. He decides to be a "hero" and fist fight his way out. There are some funny moments though, so I guess it was worth my $1.50 :). I loved the grandma, the random paper bagged girl who smacks a cop car, the fact that the angel Gabriel was the dumb guy from 3:10 to Yuma, and Wild Hogs, and the fact that Forrest Gump has always been the protector. I liked Dennis Quaid. So I'd recommend that you get a girl you don't/do care about to take you and you can have a good laugh, and call "God" a "Dumbass"

"It was...uuumm...badong"-Kent
"LMFAO"-Ryan
"This movie takes your imagination and takes it on a...I can't fart on a review so I don't know what to say"-Puente

Finally saw Where The Wild Things Are

In this film Spike Jonze(who by the way spells his name like an arrogant douche bag who thinks he's way too edgy for normal spelling) a highly imaginative little boy just doesn't feel he fits in and runs away finding himself in a world with all these big monsters... A few thoughts; i hear nothing but good about this movie and maybe it was my fault for going into it with high expectations but i thought people gave it way too much credit. Much like the directors name i got the impression this film tried too hard to be edgy and hip and make you think with all its supposed imagery and parallels that point out problems in society and all that other "between the lines" bull shit that stupid people think is cool. What made the whole experience even worse was the boring indie/folk rock soundtrack that just made me want to gouge the eyes out of the person next to me (which coincidentally would have been Ryan or Manuel). All that aside i will say the boy who played the leading role is an excellent actor and the chicken guy that got his arm ripped off was quite hilarious. But all in all i am very glad i waited til the movie was in the dollar theater to watch it.

Tyson's Passage
I'd say you are going soft on this movie. I always wondered how they could make like a 10 page picture book with 4 words on each page into a major movie. In my opinion, they didn't. They took a good children's book and turned it into a movie that was utterly boring as fuck. I haven't been that bored since i watched the old "Pride and Prejudice" in a high school class. Max is very imaginative but a little bit on the insane side almost like it was a prequel to Rob Zombie's "Halloween" and Max went away from his cat/raccoon  costume and his family got really white trash and poor and then little Max found a clown mask and then "Halloween" began. (Rob Zombie made a shitty movie by the way) All in all, to me, that movie sucked. I contemplated suicide more times during that 1 hour and 34 minutes then I ever have in my entire 19 years of living. But wait, I do have some positive feedback on it. Like Nemecio said, the armless Chicken man named Douglas was funny. The dirt clog war was pretty funny too, I'd recommend fast forwarding to those scenes then stop, get up, and do something fun.